Haute Flash Blog

Recently, I had dinner with a friend who is a good 10 years younger than I am. We talked about her birthday, which was coming up in a few days, as well as mine, which is coming up in a few months. When I brought up the subject of age, my friend became noticeably uncomfortable, said she was approaching 40, but that she wouldn’t be that old for a while, and she quickly moved off the topic..

I can’t judge her for not wanting to reveal or talk about her age. I’m not exactly thrilled to be turning 50, but I’m not going to let myself freak out that I’m getting older. What does freak me out is wondering how much I’ve accomplished in 50 years. As a graduate of an all-female high school, I don’t stress out about looking great for my reunions. I worry about measuring up to the accomplishments of my former schoolmates. I’m not talking about the women who married into money. Hooray for them for striking it rich, and all that, but they’re not the ones whose accomplishments blow me away.

My classmates’ careers include stay-at-home moms, bartenders, accomplished musicians, nurses, teachers, brain surgeons, lawyers, and just about everything in between. Those women who have learned to love themselves while caring for others are the women I admire – the women who are comfortable in their own skin, however toned, or fleshy or tan it may be.

While I haven’t officially launched my website, it is scary to declare my age to those who stumble upon or are aware of my blog. I’m resisting the anxiety that starts to natter at me whenever I write about my age, but being anxious about who I am and what I’ve done at this stage is not something I expect to overcome any time soon.