Celebrating 50

In a matter of days, I turn 50. That number seems so big – not ancient – but certainly not insignificant. In the past, people used to think I looked much younger. I don’t think that’s the case anymore. I honestly don’t know what 50 is supposed to look like.

Everybody has a birthday, so my turning 50 is no more important than my daughter turning 25, or my nephew turning 15. Birthdays are really a very personal thing. It’s not up to the rest of the world to do a happy dance and lavish me with gifts because I’m one year older. It’s up to me how or if I want to celebrate. To mark my half-century of life, I’m finally going to Europe. There, I’ll see my step-daughter in the UK. On my actual birthday, I’m flying to Paris to see a friend who lives in France.

When I tell people my age, some flinch – as though I’ve asked if they want to see my scars from surgery. It’s as if I’m providing too much information. I don’t walze into a room and announce, “Hey, PEOPLE, I’m turning 50!” I just don’t avoid talking about my age.

I think our society has a long way to go before the majority of us accept getting older. But getting older does not mean we have to rot on the vine. I know I’ll have to work that much harder this next phase of my life to stay healthy and in decent shape, but I’m determined to prove that turning 50 means we're just getting started….

Thinking about another woman diagnosed with breast cancer

The other night I dreamt that my hair was thinning to the point where I had more bald spots than hair. My hair has never been thick, but because it is naturally curly, it looks a lot fuller than it is.

The thinning hair dream is a replacement for the recurring dreams I used to have, in which my teeth would fall out. Once I got my braces, those dreams stopped. I’m not sure which stresses me out more – the thought of going bald or the thought of being toothless. My preference is that neither would happen.

The thing is, in the big scheme of things, I’m healthy. If I lose all my teeth or hair, I will live through it. I’ve recently heard that another woman, dear to my heart, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is the person who asked me to find a way on my website to talk about how women can keep from losing their lustre as they age. “T” told me she felt she’d lost her lustre, but she is one of the loveliest women I know – physically and emotionally.

It is difficult for me to find time to update my blogs and chase pervs off the Women’s Lounge (forum) portion of TheHauteFlashSite, but the reason I wanted to create my site was to give myself an outlet for dealing with getting older, while also promoting the idea that when any of our sisters, mothers, partners or friends are dealing with something tough, we need to be there for them.

I haven't addressed T's request to address the loss of lustre, but in spite of what she thinks, T's lustre remains ever-present. If she were to lose every tooth in her mouth and every strand of her hair, she would still be radiant.