I want to take my website to “the next level”; although I’m not quite sure what that level is. When I first conceived The Haute Flash Site, it was to be a resource for women to deal with issues around getting older. All of the elements seemed to be there: The Women’s Lounge – a forum for online discussion and support; Haute Line– an area for women to learn about traditional and alternative medical approaches to health; this blog and a variety of products that make a woman feel her best, even if she’s in the throes of menopause.
Many people tell me they know of a site that is just like mine. I hope not, but as I’ve said before, there are plenty of women dealing with aging and everything that goes with getting older. Until we become comfortable with who we are, learn to take care of ourselves, and celebrate the wisdom that comes with aging, there will be no such thing as too many resources.
In the next 30 days, I will migrate my site over to a different web developer. My current web person is a gem, and I will continue to send work her way. This next step will provide me with an integrated solution and the ability to manage my site without being a technology wizard. The new solution will also keep the spammers out of The Women’s Lounge. Maybe once I spruce up my site, I’ll actually keep it updated. What a concept!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
My Best Friend's Daughter's Wedding
Some days, I can’t believe I’m 50. Memories from my childhood and adolescence seem so recent. I look at them as these isolated episodes, and I think it wasn’t that long ago they occurred. Then I see the many other memories piled on top of them, and I’m amazed. When I was in the fourth grade, I remember telling my brother Rory that time seemed to be moving a lot faster. A few years older than I, he said, “Just wait. The older you get, the faster the time will move.” Whenever I sense time zipping past me, I think of him saying that.
Late last month, I attended the wedding of Kate, the oldest daughter of my friend Peggy. Peggy is one of two friends I’ve known since I was four. The youngest of seven, Peggy grew up in my neighborhood. We went to school together from first grade until sixth, and then we went through high-school together.
I have seen many brides look like they’re in costume at their weddings. Kate was in no costume. From the time Kate entered the world, she hasn’t been one to fuss much over makeup, hair and other girlie stuff, but on her wedding day, she truly was a vision of beauty. Her hair was swept up. Her makeup was perfectly understated, and her dress was stunning on her. She was in her element.
As Kate walked down the aisle, I watched Peggy’s expression. It was full of such love and pride. The reception was a blur of hugging, kissing, and best wish-giving. It was Kate’s moment to shine, and Peggy’s moment to enjoy. I knew we’d have a chance to talk about it later.
I know it has to be a sense of accomplishment, knowing your progeny has found love. But then what? How do you trust that other person to love your child unconditionally - how do you KNOW they will bring out the best in each other?
I haven’t had a chance to talk to Peggy much since the wedding. She is still catching up on work. I look forward to spending time with her and learning about this next chapter in her life as a woman, as a grown-up, as a mother.
Late last month, I attended the wedding of Kate, the oldest daughter of my friend Peggy. Peggy is one of two friends I’ve known since I was four. The youngest of seven, Peggy grew up in my neighborhood. We went to school together from first grade until sixth, and then we went through high-school together.
I have seen many brides look like they’re in costume at their weddings. Kate was in no costume. From the time Kate entered the world, she hasn’t been one to fuss much over makeup, hair and other girlie stuff, but on her wedding day, she truly was a vision of beauty. Her hair was swept up. Her makeup was perfectly understated, and her dress was stunning on her. She was in her element.
As Kate walked down the aisle, I watched Peggy’s expression. It was full of such love and pride. The reception was a blur of hugging, kissing, and best wish-giving. It was Kate’s moment to shine, and Peggy’s moment to enjoy. I knew we’d have a chance to talk about it later.
I know it has to be a sense of accomplishment, knowing your progeny has found love. But then what? How do you trust that other person to love your child unconditionally - how do you KNOW they will bring out the best in each other?
I haven’t had a chance to talk to Peggy much since the wedding. She is still catching up on work. I look forward to spending time with her and learning about this next chapter in her life as a woman, as a grown-up, as a mother.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Fragile, Fragile Life
Caitlin (my daughter) called me on Monday to tell me that over the weekend, her friend Lily had been in a serious accident. Lily is in the surgical ICU at a local hospital – fortunately, the hospital is probably the best in the state for treating trauma. Right now, there’s a lot of praying, waiting and hoping for the best.
Over the years, I have watched Lily bloom from a little girl into a lovely and confident young woman. In spite of being a little shy, she has scads of friends. She also has a wonderful family, including Jackie, her sweet and gentle mom, who has basically camped out in the hospital waiting room since Lily’s accident.
I haven’t seen Lily in about a year, but when she and Caitlin were in middle and high-school, if she wasn’t at our house, Caitlin was at hers. Jackie and I took the girls to Santa Fe to celebrate the February they turned 13. We shared a suite at an old hotel in Las Vegas, New Mexico and drove an hour south to Santa Fe to tour museums, visit churches, and take pictures. I’ve been looking at those pictures the past couple of days.
Yesterday I went by the hospital, as Caitlin was there with some of Lily’s other friends. Jackie was there, of course, and the minute I saw her, I could feel her heavy heart. She looked so tired. I gave her a big hug. Before I could stop myself before the words, “How are you doing?” slipped out of my mouth. How could anyone be doing under those circumstances?
Women should not be fighting for their lives at the age of 25. Mothers with daughters so young should not have to experience such gut-wrenching anguish. I can only imagine the desperation Jackie feels not being able to hear Lily’s voice. I know Lily is a fighter. Reports are that she is responding to the medical professionals treating her.
All of the usual stuff that I let get under my skin seems absolutely trivial right now. Life can be so fragile. I hold Lily and her family deep in my heart. To visit the website created to keep everyone updated on Lily’s progress and to contribute to her medical costs, go to http://www.lilliancollier.org.
Over the years, I have watched Lily bloom from a little girl into a lovely and confident young woman. In spite of being a little shy, she has scads of friends. She also has a wonderful family, including Jackie, her sweet and gentle mom, who has basically camped out in the hospital waiting room since Lily’s accident.
I haven’t seen Lily in about a year, but when she and Caitlin were in middle and high-school, if she wasn’t at our house, Caitlin was at hers. Jackie and I took the girls to Santa Fe to celebrate the February they turned 13. We shared a suite at an old hotel in Las Vegas, New Mexico and drove an hour south to Santa Fe to tour museums, visit churches, and take pictures. I’ve been looking at those pictures the past couple of days.
Yesterday I went by the hospital, as Caitlin was there with some of Lily’s other friends. Jackie was there, of course, and the minute I saw her, I could feel her heavy heart. She looked so tired. I gave her a big hug. Before I could stop myself before the words, “How are you doing?” slipped out of my mouth. How could anyone be doing under those circumstances?
Women should not be fighting for their lives at the age of 25. Mothers with daughters so young should not have to experience such gut-wrenching anguish. I can only imagine the desperation Jackie feels not being able to hear Lily’s voice. I know Lily is a fighter. Reports are that she is responding to the medical professionals treating her.
All of the usual stuff that I let get under my skin seems absolutely trivial right now. Life can be so fragile. I hold Lily and her family deep in my heart. To visit the website created to keep everyone updated on Lily’s progress and to contribute to her medical costs, go to http://www.lilliancollier.org.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Celebrating 50
In a matter of days, I turn 50. That number seems so big – not ancient – but certainly not insignificant. In the past, people used to think I looked much younger. I don’t think that’s the case anymore. I honestly don’t know what 50 is supposed to look like.
Everybody has a birthday, so my turning 50 is no more important than my daughter turning 25, or my nephew turning 15. Birthdays are really a very personal thing. It’s not up to the rest of the world to do a happy dance and lavish me with gifts because I’m one year older. It’s up to me how or if I want to celebrate. To mark my half-century of life, I’m finally going to Europe. There, I’ll see my step-daughter in the UK. On my actual birthday, I’m flying to Paris to see a friend who lives in France.
When I tell people my age, some flinch – as though I’ve asked if they want to see my scars from surgery. It’s as if I’m providing too much information. I don’t walze into a room and announce, “Hey, PEOPLE, I’m turning 50!” I just don’t avoid talking about my age.
I think our society has a long way to go before the majority of us accept getting older. But getting older does not mean we have to rot on the vine. I know I’ll have to work that much harder this next phase of my life to stay healthy and in decent shape, but I’m determined to prove that turning 50 means we're just getting started….
Everybody has a birthday, so my turning 50 is no more important than my daughter turning 25, or my nephew turning 15. Birthdays are really a very personal thing. It’s not up to the rest of the world to do a happy dance and lavish me with gifts because I’m one year older. It’s up to me how or if I want to celebrate. To mark my half-century of life, I’m finally going to Europe. There, I’ll see my step-daughter in the UK. On my actual birthday, I’m flying to Paris to see a friend who lives in France.
When I tell people my age, some flinch – as though I’ve asked if they want to see my scars from surgery. It’s as if I’m providing too much information. I don’t walze into a room and announce, “Hey, PEOPLE, I’m turning 50!” I just don’t avoid talking about my age.
I think our society has a long way to go before the majority of us accept getting older. But getting older does not mean we have to rot on the vine. I know I’ll have to work that much harder this next phase of my life to stay healthy and in decent shape, but I’m determined to prove that turning 50 means we're just getting started….
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Thinking about another woman diagnosed with breast cancer
The other night I dreamt that my hair was thinning to the point where I had more bald spots than hair. My hair has never been thick, but because it is naturally curly, it looks a lot fuller than it is.
The thinning hair dream is a replacement for the recurring dreams I used to have, in which my teeth would fall out. Once I got my braces, those dreams stopped. I’m not sure which stresses me out more – the thought of going bald or the thought of being toothless. My preference is that neither would happen.
The thing is, in the big scheme of things, I’m healthy. If I lose all my teeth or hair, I will live through it. I’ve recently heard that another woman, dear to my heart, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is the person who asked me to find a way on my website to talk about how women can keep from losing their lustre as they age. “T” told me she felt she’d lost her lustre, but she is one of the loveliest women I know – physically and emotionally.
It is difficult for me to find time to update my blogs and chase pervs off the Women’s Lounge (forum) portion of TheHauteFlashSite, but the reason I wanted to create my site was to give myself an outlet for dealing with getting older, while also promoting the idea that when any of our sisters, mothers, partners or friends are dealing with something tough, we need to be there for them.
I haven't addressed T's request to address the loss of lustre, but in spite of what she thinks, T's lustre remains ever-present. If she were to lose every tooth in her mouth and every strand of her hair, she would still be radiant.
The thinning hair dream is a replacement for the recurring dreams I used to have, in which my teeth would fall out. Once I got my braces, those dreams stopped. I’m not sure which stresses me out more – the thought of going bald or the thought of being toothless. My preference is that neither would happen.
The thing is, in the big scheme of things, I’m healthy. If I lose all my teeth or hair, I will live through it. I’ve recently heard that another woman, dear to my heart, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is the person who asked me to find a way on my website to talk about how women can keep from losing their lustre as they age. “T” told me she felt she’d lost her lustre, but she is one of the loveliest women I know – physically and emotionally.
It is difficult for me to find time to update my blogs and chase pervs off the Women’s Lounge (forum) portion of TheHauteFlashSite, but the reason I wanted to create my site was to give myself an outlet for dealing with getting older, while also promoting the idea that when any of our sisters, mothers, partners or friends are dealing with something tough, we need to be there for them.
I haven't addressed T's request to address the loss of lustre, but in spite of what she thinks, T's lustre remains ever-present. If she were to lose every tooth in her mouth and every strand of her hair, she would still be radiant.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Spring
Hooray, it’s spring! I love this time of year. Gardeners are preparing their soil. Trees are starting to bud. Robins are gathering in the trees, and flowers are beginning to bloom. Even if we get a seasonal snow, I know that soon, the crunching sound of cars on icy snow will give way to the hum of lawn mowers and the chatter of birds and squirrels.
I think I’m ready for this spring. In spite of my mantra that women shouldn’t sweat getting older, I must admit I am sweating the big 5-oh, which will hit me in about six weeks. Next week, my daughter is taking me to the hot springs in Buena Vista, Colorado (The locals pronounce it Bewnee). Because she’s on spring break, this is the best time for her to give me an early birthday present. We’ll spend two days hanging out and catching up. I’m looking forward to it.
I think I’m ready for this spring. In spite of my mantra that women shouldn’t sweat getting older, I must admit I am sweating the big 5-oh, which will hit me in about six weeks. Next week, my daughter is taking me to the hot springs in Buena Vista, Colorado (The locals pronounce it Bewnee). Because she’s on spring break, this is the best time for her to give me an early birthday present. We’ll spend two days hanging out and catching up. I’m looking forward to it.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Another layoff
I have just experienced another layoff. As a consultant to the company conducting the layoffs, I didn’t lose my livelihood. I lost a client. Even so, it was a wretched experience. Layoffs always come as an incredible blow. The employer may tell us, “Don’t take this personally, it has nothing to do with you…” If I’m the one who got laid off, I can’t help but take it personally.
After the shock of being told your job is going away, there’s the reality of the dreaded job search. For every new position that opens, there are countless applicants. Some possess youthful looks, and lack encumbrances like families, mortgages, and credit card debt. Others may lack the wisdom, seasoning, and customer service skills that we mid-lifers have gathered over the years, but they may be more flexible with salaries or familiar with newer technology to give them just enough of an edge to get the job offer. If we have become complacent in our jobs, or if we haven't developed new skills, we don’t stand a chance in such a competitive job market.
I understand why these most recent layoffs occurred. I cannot vilify my client. Business, after all, is business. I can feel compassion for those who have to figure out what to do next, after the reality has set in. Those who’ve read my blog may wonder what this has to do with getting older. Sadly, the older we get, the greater our chances of being laid off. Many of us have endured this experience more than once. No matter how many times I’ve seen been down this road, it doesn’t get easier – and after witnessing this last round, I’ve decided it gets worse.
After the shock of being told your job is going away, there’s the reality of the dreaded job search. For every new position that opens, there are countless applicants. Some possess youthful looks, and lack encumbrances like families, mortgages, and credit card debt. Others may lack the wisdom, seasoning, and customer service skills that we mid-lifers have gathered over the years, but they may be more flexible with salaries or familiar with newer technology to give them just enough of an edge to get the job offer. If we have become complacent in our jobs, or if we haven't developed new skills, we don’t stand a chance in such a competitive job market.
I understand why these most recent layoffs occurred. I cannot vilify my client. Business, after all, is business. I can feel compassion for those who have to figure out what to do next, after the reality has set in. Those who’ve read my blog may wonder what this has to do with getting older. Sadly, the older we get, the greater our chances of being laid off. Many of us have endured this experience more than once. No matter how many times I’ve seen been down this road, it doesn’t get easier – and after witnessing this last round, I’ve decided it gets worse.
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About Me
- Haute Flash Blog
- I am a public relations and marketing communications consultant with more than 20 years of experience. I love working with clients who are passionate about the services or products they provide their customers. I take my work seriously, but my sense of humor keeps me from letting life get in the way of my perspective and ability to create. My latest mantra: I'm a work in progress.